This resonated with me on a deep level. The last guy I dated (who I'm still not over with) has an anxious attachment style (mine is anxious) and he mistook his self-sufficiency as having a secure attachment style. Consequently, when I demanded more attention from him, he dismissed my need as being too anxious.

It really is a toxic dynamic (avoidant+anxious) because you get hurt whenever they pull away from you. Funnily enough, when I pulled away because I was fed up with him, he suddenly showered me with affection.

I don't want to be with someone who only wants me when I don't want them. I wanna be with someone who makes me feel secure in the relationship and for whom I am not demanding "too much". Also...I'm really interested in reading that book now! :)