How To Protect Your Energy At All Costs

Take agency for your life.

Julia Appa
2 min readJan 28, 2022


Photo by Eternal Happiness from Pexels

I made a very profound observation when I overheard my dad on the phone today.

He was annoyed and started screaming at his “friend” and insulting him. I say “friend” because my dad doesn’t really have any friends and because he doesn’t know how to talk to people in general.

You wouldn’t scream at your friend and constantly belittle their intelligence, opinions, or choices. (If you do, respect doesn’t seem to be the foundation of your friendship.)

What struck me was that my dad could not see the irony in this situation.

If someone or something bothers you that much, why do you carry on giving your energy to that person or thing?

Anger drains you.

I’ve been there, done that.

I have been angry, annoyed, or frustrated for days on end. I also held grudges for weeks, months, even years. But holding onto anger doesn’t give you anything in return. Nothing positive at least.

What anger does to you is that it takes energy away from you and if you keep being angry at someone for weeks, you will feel exhausted. Besides, there is literally nothing that will come from this anger.

When I used to meditate with Headspace, the instructor often said “Who or what are you resisting?”. To me, that was a real eye-opener. I realized that anything I was unhappy about wasn’t worth complaining about — with which I only sustained my anger — because it wouldn’t change anything about the situation.

If you cannot control or change a circumstance such as having lost money or coworkers gossiping about you, let it go. Accept what is.

Don’t spend hours beating a dead horse.

It’s so simple and yet most people don’t see that they cause their own suffering. My dad, for instance, blamed his “friend” for his annoyance but decided to carry on the discussion rather than hanging up the phone or telling him “Listen, if you’ve got another problem could you please consult somebody else?”.

Subconsciously we notice what drains us and yet our mind cannot grasp what we need to do to protect our energy.

So if you have been complaining a lot lately or agonized over a person or situation, take a step back. How do you feel about what you are doing?

Do you feel relief or do you feel even more resistance and injustice?

This is not to say that you can’t ever be angry. Anger certainly is a valid and important emotion. However, anger should not take over your life and consume all of your energy.

Your energy is way too precious for that.



Julia Appa

Just a 23-year-old who’s obsessed with writing. Instagram: juliaminus_romeo