A Gentle Reminder That It’s Okay For Your Friends’ Lives To Grow Apart From Yours

It’s the course of life.

Julia Appa
2 min readJan 26, 2022


Photo by Matheus Ferrero from Pexels

When I was a teenager, I always wanted to be older.

I thought being older came with a lot of independence. Being able to go wherever I wanted, spending money on the things I desired, living on my own, exactly how I pleased.

It was a romanticized idea of what adulthood looked like to me.

Now that I’m venturing into adulthood, I realize that being older isn’t as great as it was in my head only a few years ago.

The reality of adulthood

I feel like I’ve got no time for anything once I’m finished with my job at 6 pm. I go straight to my chores like cooking, cleaning, or taking the dog out. Occasionally I sit down to read a book or I make the time to take a bath but I always feel like there’s never quite enough time.

Most days I go to bed around midnight. Yes, I’m aware that there are 6 hours between 6 pm and midnight and yet, it feels as though time was running through my hands or as though someone was taking a good 2 hours away from me.

Please tell me you’re feeling like this, too. It can’t be just in my head/reality.

I do write myself to-dos for every day and every day, there are a few things I don’t manage to do so I put them off and then the next day there’s way too much to do and again, there’s something I will postpone.

It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to escape and it’s gotten to the point where I need to write down that I have to text a friend back because I feel so overwhelmed.

Where are all my friends?

I only have a hand full of friends and I haven’t seen them much lately. They have moved away, live in different countries, or are so busy themselves I rarely get to see them.

In a sense, I do miss being a high school student because I could see my friends every day and laugh with them.

Now everyone has got their own responsibilities, commitments, and set of goals they are chasing so that we are all pulled into different directions of life.

It’s sad to think about that because this fact also means that you will fall out with some people and lose some friends as you are going to lose your connection or no longer share the same interests, values, or opinions.

And it’s not gonna be your fault, or their fault. It’s just the way it is.

It doesn’t just happen to you. Because life never stands still. Dynamics and relationships always change. For better or for worse.

That is inevitable.



Julia Appa

Just a 23-year-old who’s obsessed with writing. Instagram: juliaminus_romeo