Oh look, I am blonde now!

Hey guys, it’s Julia!

I’m a 21-year-old English student from Hamburg, Germany, and I’m currently completing the last year of my studies. I’ve got to hand in a 30-page long dissertation by the beginning of summer so that I can obtain my Bachelor’s degree and let me tell you…even though I love writing and have been writing since I was a teenager..it’s pretty darn difficult.

That’s why I occasionally fall down the YouTube rabbit hole or binge-watch an entire season of a show in 1–2 days only. The last shows I watched were The Wilds and Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof…


#1 Nobody cares about your writing dreams

This article will not pamper you. It is unapologetic and to some, it might even feel like a slap in the face. However, if you want to turn your dream into reality, you need to wake up.

Here’s the harsh reality:

1. Nobody cares about your writing dreams.

One of my goals for this year is to publish a poetry collection. I’ve been writing poetry since my teenage years so I already have a huge pile of possible poems that I could include in the book.

Not saying that all of them are good. …


Don’t let others tell you that you are a bad person because of it.

Dating is hard. It can be even harder when people judge us for how we date or who we date. Nowadays it seems that everyone’s got an opinion.

“Don’t meet him for drinks at 9 pm. He’s probably just trying to get in bed with you.”

“Don’t go on a coffee date. That is really low effort. If he wants to get to know you, he’s gotta invest more.”

“If he’s 10 minutes late, leave. He’s not respecting your time.”

There are probably a few more things that came to your mind when reading these 3 amazing, incredibly helpful tips…


3 signs you have overlooked.

Let me get one thing clear.

Nobody deserves to be ghosted.

No matter what you said or did on your last date. It is a foolish way out for the people who fear confrontation. And some of them even tricked themselves into believing that it’s kinder to leave you left unread rather than telling you why they don’t want to see you again.

That somehow not providing you with an explanation would hurt less.

Anyone who’s been through a breakup and hasn’t gotten closure knows that this ain’t true. You just don’t move on with your life. …


It’s been a long time coming.

Saying goodbye to someone is never easy. Especially if you’ve known that person for years and have a lot of memories with them. But sometimes it’s best to acknowledge that a relationship is no longer working than to talk yourself into spending your time beating a dead horse.

Today has been one of these days.

I had to let my friend go.

Here’s why.

Friends don’t judge you.

My friend disagreed with something I did. Or rather, she disagreed with something I didn’t do and called me stupid and lazy because of it. …


Detaching your self-worth from men takes time

I am a wounded woman.

Rationally I know that my worth isn’t dependent on men. Whether they find me pretty, would like to have sex with me, or enter a relationship with me. That’s my mind speaking. But my heart says something else.

When I’m on a date with someone and they pay me compliments, gaze into my eyes deeply, or flirt with me, it feels good. It feels good to hear that someone wants to see me again. …


And I’m still debating whether to give in to that voice or whether I should fight it.

I’d like to say that I always believe in myself and that I’m certain I will reach my goals and that I trust the process and the path that I am on. But that’s a lie.

I do feel doubts all the time. About writing. All sorts of doubts.

They can go like this:

I don’t have anything to say. I’m not an interesting person. I don’t have as much life experience as other writers in order to be successful. There are tons of writers who are better than me. Why should I bother to compete? …


A red thread.

I think one of the reasons writing on Medium can feel so exhausting (at times) is the constant need to contribute to a culture of self-help.

3 Ways To Be More Focussed
5 Mistakes To Avoid In A Job Interview
7 Signs He Wants to Be With You

Yadi. Yadi. Yada. It’s always about how to do this and how to do that.

Rarely, do we get to just ramble about something because we are told that this kind of writing doesn’t provide any value. …


Hint: It’s not you, it’s them.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, chances are that your parents called you ungrateful or unappreciative.

Certainly, both of my parents have accused me of being ungrateful and stressed that they did way too much for me. While it hurts being attacked like that since ungratefulness also implies that you do not deserve good things, it’s often just a sign that your parents’ needs weren’t met when they were children.

My dad’s trauma

For instance, every now and then my dad starts a monologue about how hard he had to work when he was a student. Two hours before university started…

Julia Appa

Just a 22-year-old BA English student who’s obsessed with writing. Instagram: juliaminus_romeo

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